Its day 3 of the review week, and to mix it up, I decided to throw a film in there. So. On with the review.
The Big Lebowski is a comedy set in Malibu. It follows the escapades of Jeff Lebowski, who prefers to be known as the The Dude. The Dude loves bowling with his buddies, Walter and Donny.
The Dude arrives home one day to find some randomers in his house, and one of the repeatedly puts his head into the toilet, demanding that he tell him "where the money is". Needless to say, this confuses The Dude to no end, and he replies with an uber-cool "Its down there somewhere, let me have another look". One of the thugs pees on his rug. Then, it turns out they were looking for The Dude's name sake, who is a millionaire. They leave, and the next day, Walter suggests that it is this Big Lebowski who is to blame for The Dude's soiled rug. He agrees, and goes to see the BL to ask for a rug. He is declined but steals a rug anyway. Some more stuff happens, then, in typical Coen Brothers style, there is a kidnapping. The BL employs The Dude to be his in between guy who will deliver the money. Walter suggests using a fake, and keeping the money, which weighs in at a hefty $1m. This goes (upsettingly for The Dude)to plan, but their car is stolen. More stuff happens, and some crazy woman says vagina a lot, and some weirdos threaten to cut The Dude's "Johnson" off.
Throughout the film, Donny (Steve Buscemi) has hardly any lines, and is constantly told to "Shut the Fuck Up" by Walter. this is a reference to Fargo, the previous Coen Brothers film, in which Steve Buscemi played a character that wouldn't stop talking.
Star.
Thursday 25 September 2008
Tuesday 23 September 2008
Review Week - Alone In The Dark!
Okay, day two of review week and its a video game!
I thought when I started doing this, heck, I'm only ever gonna review good stuff. Then I remembered this game. I rented it a while back, thinking that the fire physics would be awesome, hyped as they were. Basically, fire is meant to spread realistically through the environment, creating light and heat as it goes.
So in goes the disc, and I'm not disappointing. I think to myself; "Wow, if the start is this much fun, how can it possibly go wrong?"
It went wrong.
The game starts off in a big, unnamed building. Once you start playing, though, these freaky demons start popping up all over the freakin' place. Its not scary though, they just look dumb. So the building starts falling down, and you have to escape. There is a crap driving bit, and then its on to Central Park.
The park is huge. It is totally free roaming, however it seems rather wasted on a linear game. You wont ever even see most of it, let alone go to it, until much later in the game. More on that later though. Its really only once you leave the building that the game breaks down.
The controls are broken, the camera is rubbish, the game play is repetitive and easy till about half way through, then becomes nearly impossible, then you have to trawl around the central park area of the game trying to find these roots of evil. The best part about this game is the fact that you can skip the shitty bits, but still, you can't skip this bit. I gave up without even doing one, it was so boring.
I haven't finished this game, and wouldn't if you paid me. Thank goodness that I didn't buy the darn thing.
No star.
I thought when I started doing this, heck, I'm only ever gonna review good stuff. Then I remembered this game. I rented it a while back, thinking that the fire physics would be awesome, hyped as they were. Basically, fire is meant to spread realistically through the environment, creating light and heat as it goes.
So in goes the disc, and I'm not disappointing. I think to myself; "Wow, if the start is this much fun, how can it possibly go wrong?"
It went wrong.
The game starts off in a big, unnamed building. Once you start playing, though, these freaky demons start popping up all over the freakin' place. Its not scary though, they just look dumb. So the building starts falling down, and you have to escape. There is a crap driving bit, and then its on to Central Park.
The park is huge. It is totally free roaming, however it seems rather wasted on a linear game. You wont ever even see most of it, let alone go to it, until much later in the game. More on that later though. Its really only once you leave the building that the game breaks down.
The controls are broken, the camera is rubbish, the game play is repetitive and easy till about half way through, then becomes nearly impossible, then you have to trawl around the central park area of the game trying to find these roots of evil. The best part about this game is the fact that you can skip the shitty bits, but still, you can't skip this bit. I gave up without even doing one, it was so boring.
I haven't finished this game, and wouldn't if you paid me. Thank goodness that I didn't buy the darn thing.
No star.
Monday 22 September 2008
Review Week - 'Salems Lot!
Ladies and gentleman, welcome, to review week. Every evening on review week, I will review and then rate a book, film, game or anything I else I feel like reviewing. The rating is my very own, super special 1 star rating. You either get a star, or you don't. End of. So on with the first review.
'Salem's lot is a book by Stephen King. It follows the adventures of Ben, a semi-successful writer who has returned to his childhood home for inspiration, only to discover it is being over run with fucking VAMPIRES. Needless to say, many a brick is shat, and Ben must enlist the help of the local doctor, a priest, and a local school boy with an interest in all things macabre. So far so Stephen King.
Now, when I say this book is terrifying, I want you to take my full meaning. Think about it. This is a book. It can't just make a body fall out of a closet to make you jump and pass that off as scary. It has to work. And by golly, does it work. This book will have you up all night. The first few hours reading, until you can take no more, then the rest of the night weeping into your pillow out of sheer terror.
However, that's not to say you shouldn't read it. This is a masterpiece of modern story telling. It wont give you a Hollywood ending, but hell, it'll give you a thrill ride like never before.
Star.
'Salem's lot is a book by Stephen King. It follows the adventures of Ben, a semi-successful writer who has returned to his childhood home for inspiration, only to discover it is being over run with fucking VAMPIRES. Needless to say, many a brick is shat, and Ben must enlist the help of the local doctor, a priest, and a local school boy with an interest in all things macabre. So far so Stephen King.
Now, when I say this book is terrifying, I want you to take my full meaning. Think about it. This is a book. It can't just make a body fall out of a closet to make you jump and pass that off as scary. It has to work. And by golly, does it work. This book will have you up all night. The first few hours reading, until you can take no more, then the rest of the night weeping into your pillow out of sheer terror.
However, that's not to say you shouldn't read it. This is a masterpiece of modern story telling. It wont give you a Hollywood ending, but hell, it'll give you a thrill ride like never before.
Star.
Not sad anymore
I really think I'm starting to develop an art style now.
Thanks to the guys at Buttersafe for making the turtle, and giving me the thumbs up!
Sunday 31 August 2008
Extensive Research.
For the first time ever, the stickman has been caught on film in his natural habitat: the inhospitable plains of the poorly drawn walk cycle. As you can see, a stickman is not really made of sticks, but very fair away. This is illustrated when the stickman's leg comes forward.
Monday 14 July 2008
Anybody have a stylophone?
Tetris Stylophone Tab
7 4 4.5 6 4.5 4 3 4.5 7
7 6 4 4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
6 7.5 10 8.5 7.5 7
4.5 7 6 4.5 4
4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 3 3 2
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 7.5 7.5 7
Repeat
[Top octave, modulator all the way up]
7 4 4.5 6 4.5 4 3 4.5 7
7 6 4 4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
6 7.5 10 8.5 7.5 7
4.5 7 6 4.5 4
4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 3 3 2
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 7.5 7.5 7
Repeat
[Top octave, modulator all the way up]
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