Its day 3 of the review week, and to mix it up, I decided to throw a film in there. So. On with the review.
The Big Lebowski is a comedy set in Malibu. It follows the escapades of Jeff Lebowski, who prefers to be known as the The Dude. The Dude loves bowling with his buddies, Walter and Donny.
The Dude arrives home one day to find some randomers in his house, and one of the repeatedly puts his head into the toilet, demanding that he tell him "where the money is". Needless to say, this confuses The Dude to no end, and he replies with an uber-cool "Its down there somewhere, let me have another look". One of the thugs pees on his rug. Then, it turns out they were looking for The Dude's name sake, who is a millionaire. They leave, and the next day, Walter suggests that it is this Big Lebowski who is to blame for The Dude's soiled rug. He agrees, and goes to see the BL to ask for a rug. He is declined but steals a rug anyway. Some more stuff happens, then, in typical Coen Brothers style, there is a kidnapping. The BL employs The Dude to be his in between guy who will deliver the money. Walter suggests using a fake, and keeping the money, which weighs in at a hefty $1m. This goes (upsettingly for The Dude)to plan, but their car is stolen. More stuff happens, and some crazy woman says vagina a lot, and some weirdos threaten to cut The Dude's "Johnson" off.
Throughout the film, Donny (Steve Buscemi) has hardly any lines, and is constantly told to "Shut the Fuck Up" by Walter. this is a reference to Fargo, the previous Coen Brothers film, in which Steve Buscemi played a character that wouldn't stop talking.
Star.
Thursday 25 September 2008
Tuesday 23 September 2008
Review Week - Alone In The Dark!
Okay, day two of review week and its a video game!
I thought when I started doing this, heck, I'm only ever gonna review good stuff. Then I remembered this game. I rented it a while back, thinking that the fire physics would be awesome, hyped as they were. Basically, fire is meant to spread realistically through the environment, creating light and heat as it goes.
So in goes the disc, and I'm not disappointing. I think to myself; "Wow, if the start is this much fun, how can it possibly go wrong?"
It went wrong.
The game starts off in a big, unnamed building. Once you start playing, though, these freaky demons start popping up all over the freakin' place. Its not scary though, they just look dumb. So the building starts falling down, and you have to escape. There is a crap driving bit, and then its on to Central Park.
The park is huge. It is totally free roaming, however it seems rather wasted on a linear game. You wont ever even see most of it, let alone go to it, until much later in the game. More on that later though. Its really only once you leave the building that the game breaks down.
The controls are broken, the camera is rubbish, the game play is repetitive and easy till about half way through, then becomes nearly impossible, then you have to trawl around the central park area of the game trying to find these roots of evil. The best part about this game is the fact that you can skip the shitty bits, but still, you can't skip this bit. I gave up without even doing one, it was so boring.
I haven't finished this game, and wouldn't if you paid me. Thank goodness that I didn't buy the darn thing.
No star.
I thought when I started doing this, heck, I'm only ever gonna review good stuff. Then I remembered this game. I rented it a while back, thinking that the fire physics would be awesome, hyped as they were. Basically, fire is meant to spread realistically through the environment, creating light and heat as it goes.
So in goes the disc, and I'm not disappointing. I think to myself; "Wow, if the start is this much fun, how can it possibly go wrong?"
It went wrong.
The game starts off in a big, unnamed building. Once you start playing, though, these freaky demons start popping up all over the freakin' place. Its not scary though, they just look dumb. So the building starts falling down, and you have to escape. There is a crap driving bit, and then its on to Central Park.
The park is huge. It is totally free roaming, however it seems rather wasted on a linear game. You wont ever even see most of it, let alone go to it, until much later in the game. More on that later though. Its really only once you leave the building that the game breaks down.
The controls are broken, the camera is rubbish, the game play is repetitive and easy till about half way through, then becomes nearly impossible, then you have to trawl around the central park area of the game trying to find these roots of evil. The best part about this game is the fact that you can skip the shitty bits, but still, you can't skip this bit. I gave up without even doing one, it was so boring.
I haven't finished this game, and wouldn't if you paid me. Thank goodness that I didn't buy the darn thing.
No star.
Monday 22 September 2008
Review Week - 'Salems Lot!
Ladies and gentleman, welcome, to review week. Every evening on review week, I will review and then rate a book, film, game or anything I else I feel like reviewing. The rating is my very own, super special 1 star rating. You either get a star, or you don't. End of. So on with the first review.
'Salem's lot is a book by Stephen King. It follows the adventures of Ben, a semi-successful writer who has returned to his childhood home for inspiration, only to discover it is being over run with fucking VAMPIRES. Needless to say, many a brick is shat, and Ben must enlist the help of the local doctor, a priest, and a local school boy with an interest in all things macabre. So far so Stephen King.
Now, when I say this book is terrifying, I want you to take my full meaning. Think about it. This is a book. It can't just make a body fall out of a closet to make you jump and pass that off as scary. It has to work. And by golly, does it work. This book will have you up all night. The first few hours reading, until you can take no more, then the rest of the night weeping into your pillow out of sheer terror.
However, that's not to say you shouldn't read it. This is a masterpiece of modern story telling. It wont give you a Hollywood ending, but hell, it'll give you a thrill ride like never before.
Star.
'Salem's lot is a book by Stephen King. It follows the adventures of Ben, a semi-successful writer who has returned to his childhood home for inspiration, only to discover it is being over run with fucking VAMPIRES. Needless to say, many a brick is shat, and Ben must enlist the help of the local doctor, a priest, and a local school boy with an interest in all things macabre. So far so Stephen King.
Now, when I say this book is terrifying, I want you to take my full meaning. Think about it. This is a book. It can't just make a body fall out of a closet to make you jump and pass that off as scary. It has to work. And by golly, does it work. This book will have you up all night. The first few hours reading, until you can take no more, then the rest of the night weeping into your pillow out of sheer terror.
However, that's not to say you shouldn't read it. This is a masterpiece of modern story telling. It wont give you a Hollywood ending, but hell, it'll give you a thrill ride like never before.
Star.
Not sad anymore
I really think I'm starting to develop an art style now.
Thanks to the guys at Buttersafe for making the turtle, and giving me the thumbs up!
Sunday 31 August 2008
Extensive Research.
For the first time ever, the stickman has been caught on film in his natural habitat: the inhospitable plains of the poorly drawn walk cycle. As you can see, a stickman is not really made of sticks, but very fair away. This is illustrated when the stickman's leg comes forward.
Monday 14 July 2008
Anybody have a stylophone?
Tetris Stylophone Tab
7 4 4.5 6 4.5 4 3 4.5 7
7 6 4 4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
6 7.5 10 8.5 7.5 7
4.5 7 6 4.5 4
4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 3 3 2
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 7.5 7.5 7
Repeat
[Top octave, modulator all the way up]
7 4 4.5 6 4.5 4 3 4.5 7
7 6 4 4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
6 7.5 10 8.5 7.5 7
4.5 7 6 4.5 4
4.5 6 7 4.5 3 3
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 3 3 2
7 4 6 4 4.5 4.5 7.5 7.5 7
Repeat
[Top octave, modulator all the way up]
Sunday 13 July 2008
Friday 11 July 2008
I know I haven't been around a lot latley...
But I've been busy, and you can go a while without me. Hey, the number of comments I get proves it. LOOKING AT YOU, INTERNET. Anyways, I'm back now, and I'm in need of a project. I want YOU to come up with a project for me. Something that I can do/build, that will take up my free time and get me active. So come one, planet Earth, impress me!
Thursday 29 May 2008
Jack's Super Duper Guide of What to Do In Case of Boredom!
Ok, so, you are REALLY bored, so much so that you decided to check my blog. Fear not! I have a solution! Here are my simple steps to making your life less boring.
1) When going to a website, remember to type in the FULL URL. I mean the http:// and the / at the end as well.
2) See how long you can hold your breath.
3) Start a barbershop quartet with yourself using a microphone, and Audacity (google it).
4) Count the number of things on your desk, or, if you aren't at a desk, count the number of items on your computer desktop.
5) Read a short story backwards. You can find plenty of shorts online.
6) Write a short story.
7) Brush up on your Latin.
8) Try and beat your previously set holding your breath record. You will probably beat it.
9) Write a short story backwards.
10) See how quickly you can do all of the above. The rules for this game are:
Try it, and comment with your times.
1) When going to a website, remember to type in the FULL URL. I mean the http:// and the / at the end as well.
2) See how long you can hold your breath.
3) Start a barbershop quartet with yourself using a microphone, and Audacity (google it).
4) Count the number of things on your desk, or, if you aren't at a desk, count the number of items on your computer desktop.
5) Read a short story backwards. You can find plenty of shorts online.
6) Write a short story.
7) Brush up on your Latin.
8) Try and beat your previously set holding your breath record. You will probably beat it.
9) Write a short story backwards.
10) See how quickly you can do all of the above. The rules for this game are:
- You have to hold your breath for at least 45 seconds the first time.
- You have to hold your breath for at least 50 seconds the second time, and beat your previous time.
- The short story you write, both forwards and backwards, has to be at least 150 words long.
- Don't bother with the Barbershop Quartet bit.
Try it, and comment with your times.
Friday 23 May 2008
Tuesday 13 May 2008
Sunday 11 May 2008
From Old to New
The image on the left is the original. I tidied it up a bit, and added colour. What do you think?
Sunday 27 April 2008
Saturday 26 April 2008
Saturday 19 April 2008
Organism.
Interact with your own little pet in the latest flash project to come from yours truly.
Click to place food, hold space to bring up the ball, and hold up to whistle for his attention.
Click to place food, hold space to bring up the ball, and hold up to whistle for his attention.
Monday 14 April 2008
Thursday 10 April 2008
Tutorial Time!
I know some of you have got photoshop, so I made this little tutorial that gives a nice text effect. I used a font called "barber shop", but you could use any that you like.
1)Open a new 400x400 pixel document.
2)Type in the text you want. Remember, my font is called "barber shop". (I think it's a Gyom Seguin, but it may be a Chris Hansen.)
3)With the control key down, click on the layer icon for the text layer. This creates a selection around the layer.
4)Hit Shift+Ctrl+i to invert the selection. Alternately, select the Marquee Tool, then right click and choose Select Inverse.
5)You should now have something like this:
6)Select the following brush. It's in the default brush set, and it shouldn't be too hard to find.
7)Hit Shift+Ctrl+N to make a new layer, then brush around the text till you have something like this:
8)Press the little eye next to the text layer to hide it, and you should have something similar to the following:
9)I carried on going, and after about 15 minutes work I come up with:
1)Open a new 400x400 pixel document.
2)Type in the text you want. Remember, my font is called "barber shop". (I think it's a Gyom Seguin, but it may be a Chris Hansen.)
3)With the control key down, click on the layer icon for the text layer. This creates a selection around the layer.
4)Hit Shift+Ctrl+i to invert the selection. Alternately, select the Marquee Tool, then right click and choose Select Inverse.
5)You should now have something like this:
6)Select the following brush. It's in the default brush set, and it shouldn't be too hard to find.
7)Hit Shift+Ctrl+N to make a new layer, then brush around the text till you have something like this:
8)Press the little eye next to the text layer to hide it, and you should have something similar to the following:
9)I carried on going, and after about 15 minutes work I come up with:
Saturday 1 March 2008
Thursday 28 February 2008
Guys guys, come quick!
Hey there, chicks and dudes, something awesome happened today:
I found a bottle that GRANTS WISHES.
Seriously.
I can prove it to! check it out
The premise
The bottle grants wishes in 3 ways:
Hypothesis
By asking for stuff from the mighty bottle, I can receive it!
The test
I went to the bottle, got on my knees and said
"Oh wise and mighty bottle, may you find it in your infinite wisdom to grant me a pen?"
And the very next day, guess what? I GOT A PEN!! The bottle works! I figured that wouldn't be enough for you guys though, so I tried again.
I went to the bottle, got on my knees and said
"Oh wise and mighty bottle, may you find it in your infinite wisdom to not let this bottle of milk go off?"
And the very next day, the milk went off! The bottle answered my prayer again! Only this time, it was a no :(. I still didn't think this would be enough, so I returned to the bottle once more.
I went to the bottle, got on my knees and said
"Oh wise and mighty bottle, may you find it in your infinite wisdom to grant me a messenger of your greatness?"
And the very next day, guess what? Nothing! The bottle answered my prayer again, only this time with a maybe! However, the bottle will eventually grant me with a yes or a no in some way.
Wait a second, answers prayers... messenger of greatness... OH MY BOTTLE. THIS THING MUST BE SOME SORT OF GOD. Can you see what I'm getting at?
I found a bottle that GRANTS WISHES.
Seriously.
I can prove it to! check it out
The premise
The bottle grants wishes in 3 ways:
- yes
- no
- maybe
Hypothesis
By asking for stuff from the mighty bottle, I can receive it!
The test
I went to the bottle, got on my knees and said
"Oh wise and mighty bottle, may you find it in your infinite wisdom to grant me a pen?"
And the very next day, guess what? I GOT A PEN!! The bottle works! I figured that wouldn't be enough for you guys though, so I tried again.
I went to the bottle, got on my knees and said
"Oh wise and mighty bottle, may you find it in your infinite wisdom to not let this bottle of milk go off?"
And the very next day, the milk went off! The bottle answered my prayer again! Only this time, it was a no :(. I still didn't think this would be enough, so I returned to the bottle once more.
I went to the bottle, got on my knees and said
"Oh wise and mighty bottle, may you find it in your infinite wisdom to grant me a messenger of your greatness?"
And the very next day, guess what? Nothing! The bottle answered my prayer again, only this time with a maybe! However, the bottle will eventually grant me with a yes or a no in some way.
Wait a second, answers prayers... messenger of greatness... OH MY BOTTLE. THIS THING MUST BE SOME SORT OF GOD. Can you see what I'm getting at?
Thursday 21 February 2008
Wednesday 20 February 2008
Saturday 16 February 2008
Assassins Creed: The warm up.
Here is the physics engine I am going to use for my flash version of Assassins Creed. It's not finished yet, and this is just a warm up. Kill the blue guy by standing next to him, and don't let the red guys get you! Press left and right to move, up to jump, and space to sprint. Ass of you, you cant free run, but I'm working on it. Once the target is down, exit through the red door. JUST NOTED: There is a glitch in the timer, it won't reset. To restart, press the refresh button on your browser. This will be fixed in the next version.
Assassin's Creed: The Warm Up.
Assassin's Creed: The Warm Up.
Friday 15 February 2008
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